How to Deal with Having a Crush
Every once in a while, when we get into our preteen or teenage years, we find that there’s this really cute boy or girl in our class. We kind of think they’re cute, but we don’t really know how to talk to them. Our friends tell us to go talk to them, and maybe we do. But we would never dare tell them that we like them. Talk about social awkwardness.
This mighty fine dilemma that you have run into, my friends, is called having a crush. We always wonder if they like us back; if the feelings are mutual. Many people who have crushes feel awkward at first, but then get more comfortable. If you have trouble talking to or hanging out with your crush, maybe these tips could help you get to know him or her better and at least have a friendly relationship.
1. Find a conversation starter. Simply staring at your crush can make them feel uncomfortable, not to mention that it won’t take a healthy relationship any further. You could try these:
- “Hi! My name is (you fill in the blank) and I noticed you were sitting alone. Mind if I join you? What’s your name?”
- “Hi, (name), I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come with me and my friends to (you suggest an activity).” Maybe you have a church activity that is going on, or maybe you and your friends are going to a movie. Try inviting them to go with you.
2. Be yourself. People can often detect when other people are being fake. Whenever I have tried to fake something, my friends come along, right when I am standing next to my crush and say “You told me you didn’t like (whatever you faked liking).” Uh-oh. If you find it hard to be yourself around your crush because you are afraid he or she might not like you, chances are they aren’t right for you, and as hard as it may seem, you should move on.
3. Get to know them better. Relationships don’t go anywhere if you don’t know your crush/ friend. You should talk to them, get to know them. Ask them what their middle name is, what their favorites are, and who they idolize. This will help both of you get more comfortable with each other, because not only can they see that you are comfortable around them, but also that you are an outgoing person in general.
4. Get to know their friends. Girls, getting to know your crush’s friends is not a necessity, but it can help your crush see that you are comfortable around the people that he likes as well. If his friends don’t like you, then chances are he will be less inclined to like you as well. Now, boys, getting to know your crush’s friends is absolutely a necessity. If your crush’s friends are not into you and plainly don’t like you or know you, they will tell the girl that you have a crush on to back off and keep away from you.
All right, the guy or girl is perfect for you and you have won her/his heart. We’re throwing a party for you! But, if you find that the relationship isn’t working out in any way, you should end it. If your partner is abusive or shows a general nonchalance towards your relationship, chances are that he or she is taking advantage of the relationship.
Also, never be afraid to turn someone down. If you don’t like the person, then politely tell them something like “Hey, I’m really sorry, but you aren’t really right for me. Maybe we could be friends?” This will let them know that you are interested in having a friendly relationship rather than a romantic relationship. If they decline the friendship, don’t take it any further. Just leave them be. I hope this helped you with your “crush” of a dilemma!